the why

I don’t remember the time I didn’t feel tired during the day. I don’t remember how it felt to have nearly boundless energy and do things.

At first they said anemia. But that didn’t fix it.

I had a few vitamin deficiencies, and that didn’t fix it.

I stopped complaining about it to my doctors.

Auto-immune diseases, treated but never fixed, and still sleepy during the day.

Cancer-thing, surgery and whatnot, and of course that made me tired.

And never not tired and never not sleepy.

I sort of gave up on getting that fixed.

It got worse and I couldn’t not get it fixed anymore.

For the longest time I thought I just had to push through (and many people told me to do so) which only resulted in getting burnt out. I thought I was lazy, that it couldn’t be that bad, that I just had to get over it.

I am not lazy, it is that bad and I cannot get over it.

This ‘it’ has no name yet — it looks a lot like narcolepsy (there, I typed it).

The ‘it’ will hopefully get a name and it will take a few more months to get there. On the waitinglist for a sleep-study.

So I decided to document the road to diagnosis, and hopefully, proper treatment.