I didn’t quit, I bled out

I used to have hobbies. Perhaps too many of them, but I had them. I used to do them, had fun with them, enjoyed them.

And slowly but surely that stopped. At first I did it less and less. Maybe even didn’t do one or two of them alltogether anymore, to make space for the others. I tried to prioritise, do the ones that brought me most fun. I tried to fit it in, despite the fatigue and the illness and everything else, because I want to do it. I want to have something relaxing, something I enjoy, something just for me. But at some point, I had no more room left. No more energy. No more clarity.

I stopped drawing, chrocheting, photographing, hiking for fun.

Sometimes people comment on how I ‘quit doing’ it.

But I didn’t quit.

I bled out.

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